Dreaming vs Creating
For several years, I've had a quote in my office that says, "I am devoted to dreaming about my ideal life."
I believe this came from Gabby Bernstein and when I heard it, it was a light beam for me. It has been written on notecards and pieces of paper over the years, finally landing on my mini-whiteboard. I stare at it every day from my desk. It has served as inspiration when I felt overwhelmed or overworked or stuck. It has been a constant for me as I reflect on my business and my life.
Then, a few months ago, I realized it no longer resonated. I was staring at it without feeling that light beam quality... and I realized why.
I am tired of dreaming about my ideal life. Now is the time to be creating my ideal life! So, I changed the words right then and there to:
I am devoted to creating my ideal life!
This feels so much more alive, doesn't it?!
If you've been on my email list for a bit, then you may remember the message I sent out in January about creating your ideal day... this is exactly how we create our lives, too. Each day adds up to our life - as simple as that. But, I wonder, have you taken much time lately (or ever) to discover how your days are adding up - or how you are dreaming about or creating your ideal life?
I spoke about this in my Facebook group last week, because I feel that most people in my circle and community know what we want in our life (this is the dreaming) but that we have a hard time doing it all (this is the creating).
We may be doing a lot, and striving for things we desire, but we still feel like something is missing or out of balance. And, it probably is. It's so common to over-do some things and under-do others. This, in turn, creates an imbalance of our energy, our time and our flow - and makes it hard to "do it all."
But, the truth is, we want it all!
And, I believe you can have it all. Your all is different from my all and everyone else's. But, I believe it's possible to have what most of us are seeking - amazing health, doing your passion work in the world, fulfilling relationships, traveling and exploring - and still have restorative downtime for yourself. In fact, the restorative downtime makes everything else happen.
So, how can you achieve your all? How can you create your ideal life?
First, have to open yourself up to the possibility and then you have to take action steps to get there.
We have all been taught that we can't or shouldn't spend as much time on our health or ourselves as we do on our work or other "duties," and this is something I am on a mission to change. I believe that we must first focus on ourselves (and what we really want) before we can then pour our energy out to others (and what they need or want).
Most of my clients, for instance, recognize a desire to take care of themselves, but they don't always make it a priority. It's still on the back burner, or not on the top of their to-do list. They're still prioritizing all the other stuff and fitting in self-care where they can. They see this restorative downtime as a luxury instead of a priority.
If this sounds like you, here's a way to decide if that's working in your favor, or not.
Grab a pen and paper and use an image that works for your brain to envision your life as a whole, with smaller parts. I use a pie-chart style image (but you can use a box or graph or flower with big petals - whatever you like).
Using the pie image (today is Pi day, funny enough), envision the whole pie as you and your life as a whole. Then, you'll need to decide what slices or pieces or petals that you need/want/desire to compromise your ideal life.
You can make a list to prepare your image if that's easier. Whichever you choose, really feel into what it takes for you to have it all, in the most ideal way. Really focus on your priorities and passions here. This is not a quick exercise, per se. I suggest you take the time to get crystal clear on what you want in this way - to open yourself to these possibilities!
For me, my ideal life currently includes:
- Health care / self care (appointments with my health team, my own practices and priorities)
- Running my business and working (which is my passion)
- Writing my book (a separate way of doing my work that has a different energy)
- Supportive relationships
- Nature & Travel
- Home (nurturing my space, maintaining life chores, cooking, etc)
Your list may have more pieces or less. It may have more specifics or more categories. It's all up to you. But, again, get really clear about what you want!
And, notice where you feel like you "can't" have or do something. This should be an eye-opener - because it's likely something that would feel really good (maybe too good for your current comfort zone).
If you are having trouble completing the list, take note of where you spend your time each week - with family, around the house, working, etc. Each time you do something (laundry, exercise, tv, catch up with friends) add it to a list and start to create categories. This will help you see where you are currently spending your time. And, where you wish you were doing other things.
Once you have your list, sit with it. Take a look at it every day if you can and see how it feels. See where you wish it could change or are dead set on making it change!
Then, next week, I'll be back to your inbox with ways to work off of this. I'll show you how to create more balance and find ways to take more action toward your desires.
In short, we'll be working toward creating your perfect life! Are you ready?!
P.S. Creating your ideal life in a super personalized and specific way (with lots of accountability) is a foundational piece in my Diet Detox Desire program. Click through to learn more.