Part 2: Dreaming vs Creating
Last week I wrote you about shifting your mindset from dreaming about your ideal life to creating your ideal life. I gave you an exercise to assess the different parts of your life, where you do or want to spend your time. If you missed the email (and the first part of this exercise), you can read it here.
If you're all caught up and you did that exercise, it's time to break it down.
So, you have your whole life broken into parts (pie pieces, flower petals, squares, etc). These are the parts that you are creating for your ideal and desired life - so you can do it all. But how is that really possible? When I brought this topic to my private Facebook group, I was asked, "Do you ever get overwhelmed?"
And, the answer is yes. But, there's a way to work with that which I want to explore today.
Grab your list or image that you created with all of your parts.
I am going to refer back to my ideal life list, that I shared last week, which currently* includes:
- Health care / self care (appointments with my health team, my own practices and priorities)
- Running my business and working (which is my passion)
- Writing my book (a separate way of doing my work that has a different energy)
- Supportive relationships
- Nature & Travel
- Home (nurturing my space, maintaining life chores, cooking, etc)
*I say currently because this will be shifting and changing over time. Writing my book will turn to marketing my book and doing book tours and then that overlaps with travel and I may have to completely re-categorize in the near future. But, right now, this is where my attention wants to be. Be sure that you notice what you want right now, and not get stuck on how things used to be! This can really hold you back if you're not being honest with yourself.
Now, take a moment to look at where you are actually spending your time.
How many hours are you spending on each thing, each week? You should actually calculate it.
For me, it's:
- Health care / self care - 20
- Running my business and working - 20
- Writing my book - 20
- Supportive relationships - 30 (as an average) : 5 (friends and colleagues), 25+ (quality time with my husband)
- Nature & Travel - 10+
- Home - 20
These are average numbers and account for sleep as a separate entity. For you, sleep may need to be its own category, but I have a good sleep routine and get plenty of it so it's not a category for me right now.
There are definitely some variations for me, including weeks that I travel vs not, weekends that I spend with my husband vs not, how much writing I get done every week, etc.
In fact, just a couple of weeks ago, my book was at 10 and my biz was at 30. But, I was feeling super overwhelmed! I was feeling over-stretched in my business and like I was really neglecting my book. So, I changed it. I changed my client schedule, my workload and I dedicated more time to the book. And, I am not kidding when I tell you I feel SO much better (because I am much more in balance now)!
With that, I beg of you - don't give yourself excuses or put the numbers where you wish they were. This step is about realistic observation!
Let's break this down even more.
Take notice where your energy is focussed on yourself or on others. Notice where you are currently spending the most time and the least time. And, again, get real about it! This in itself may be an a-ha moment for you! Notice where you want to have more balance and where you can make shifts to prioritize each of these sections equally.
Because that overwhelm that I was asked about, and experiencing, happens when we are not in balance with the different parts of our life. Often, spending too much time on one thing creates overwhelm or resentment (if it's not your priority) or feeling depleted or fried in a particular way.
And, in areas where you don't focus enough time and energy, you will also notice it. There may be a sense of striving or seeking elsewhere. Or, a sadness that it's not fulfilling you. It may also feel like neglect, as it did with my book. Or, it may be an inner loneliness or neglect, if you're missing time in your health and self-care category (where you need that restorative downtime I keep talking about).
But, there is a solution! The key to balancing your emotions around this is to balance your time.
Balance, all too often, is a word we strive for but have no idea how to really get there. That's why I use this as the foundational piece in my Diet Detox Desire program. And, why it is important to see where we are actually out of balance!
Creating the map of our ideal life allows us to assess and re-work it so that we can actually implement change.
This is going to take you out of your comfort zone. Believe it or not, you are comfortable working too much, or being too busy to focus on your self-care, or not having space to do your passion work. So, I ask you to lean into these truths - whatever they may be for you.
I invite you to see your own capacity, right now. Are you willing to get uncomfortable and push your self-perceived limitations to make yourself truly happy? Are you ready to have it all and create the life you truly want?
If so, strive toward balance with these ideal life parts. It may take some time to get fully balanced, or you may notice that some pieces of the pie are just going to be larger than others. That's 100% OK! Continue to make the steps toward your desires and your ideal life, in full transparency and authenticity, and I believe you'll get there!
I have one more tangible tip around this that I'll share next week. For now, do the hard work of really assessing things and let me know if you need support. Join the conversation in my private Facebook group, or click reply to email with questions. And, stay tuned for the last phase of this creation - you're so close to creating your ideal life!!