I was being a complete hypocrite
I’ve been creating a new ecosystem for my business in the last year. And, it’s felt like a prescribed burn in the forest.
I’ve had to burn so much of the old growth to make way for the new and nourishing soil, yet at the same time be very careful to keep this burn contained so that I didn’t lose everything.
It’s carried the pain and fear of letting go while trusting that this is what’s right for the end goal.
In short, I’ve burned my business on purpose and sometimes my mind wonders what the f*ck I’ve done.
I left my chef and nutrition roots behind to be boldly centered on what I believe is more important than your food choices: trusting your truth and following your Soul Voice.
And, not everyone in my community has been on board.
While that definitely feels sad at times, I know what my mission is in this life and I have to follow it. I have to continue to use my life and my work to move us all toward greater self awareness and inner transformation.
I’ve had to burn shit down again and again so that I could follow my own Soul Voice.
As I am sure you feel from me, I share from a place of authenticity. But, in the first few years of my business, when I went “truth teller” on you in my blogs and posts, I often received pushback.
So, I noticed that I began to bite my lip more in the public space of sharing.
I didn’t speak as radically about how important it is to put your self care first, I didn’t say as much about “bad” food choices (I was specifically bashed about that once), I said less about my ferocious passion for every woman to quit being a people-pleaser.
I even began to stop sharing as much on social media because I didn’t want my personal beliefs to sway your thoughts on my business.
I was being a complete hypocrite!
I was muting myself to keep you comfortable. I wanted you to like what I teach and share. But, I didn’t want to rock the boat too much. I was trying to please you rather than push you.
It’s one of the many things I’ve been burning away in the last year.
I am sharing this story with you today to say loud and clear: people-pleasing has got to go!
If you are trying to please everyone, you are not living life authentically.
Even if you don’t think you’re a people-pleaser, it’s time to take a step back and notice where you hold back in conversation, in what you share of yourself, or in what you choose to do (or not do) in everyday life because you’re worried about another person’s feelings being hurt.
I know you have a strong conscience, so you’ll always think about someone else’s feelings, but what you want to consider is if you are changing what you do, or what you want and need because of another person’s opinion, behavior or potential judgement.
Pause and really recognize how that feels to you…
Do you notice underlying resentment?
Do you notice that you get drained more easily and are less fulfilled?
Do you notice the edges of guilt arise when you think about doing what you want instead?
If so, it’s time for a prescribed burn--one that can be intentional and powerful yet make way for the more nourishing soil to come.
It’s time to set some boundaries with yourself and within relationships and get to living your life instead of someone else’s.
And, to be clear, I am not talking about being unkind or deliberately hurting people. I am simply talking about listening to your truth and following it.
You’re in my community, so you’re no rookie to self awareness. You understand these concepts and you know when you’re doing this. Yet, it is still happening!
Because you’re sensitive and kind, you never want to hurt anyone. You want to be liked and in connection and community with other women like you. So, sometimes you mute yourself to keep everyone comfortable, just like I did.
It’s time to come clean.
If you have been feeling yourself compromise and you know it’s time to burn this away and restore your soil for what’s to come, let’s talk.
Boundaries are the key to a prescribed burn, and this season’s Group Coaching Circle is focussed on just that.
I was sick for a full week (burning away even more gunk) and haven’t had the chance to tell you much about this new group. So, if you feel a spark when reading, let’s get on the phone and chat about it. You can schedule a time for us to connect here.
If you're working with boundaries and burning in your own life, I'd love to hear about it. Click reply and tell me more.