Every woman I know struggles with this
I see every woman that I work with struggle with boundaries. Who am I kidding, I see every woman I know struggle with boundaries. And, it creates a lot of strain and stress in their lives.
When boundaries aren’t being respected, it can feel draining, it can create resentment and it makes you a lot less fun and fulfilled within your relationships.
For women like you, it’s not that boundaries are missing altogether, it’s that they are not being upheld in the way that most suits you.
This can look like:
Not upholding your boundaries consistently, for fear that you’ll be seen as selfish
Not communicating your boundaries clearly to those you love, for fear of hurting their feelings
Not feeling confident in the boundaries you really want to be upholding, for fear of judgement
It can also mean that you’re using outdated boundaries:
With yourself, this might mean being “too strict” about certain things in your life (diet parameters, self care practices, or work routines).
With others, this might mean that you are using old boundaries in old relationships even though you’ve grown and changed tremendously.
There’s a lot to boundaries, and it’s very personal to you and your unique relationships and situations. But, being able to talk about your needs and work through them is the key to clarifying and upholding them.
It can be really helpful to have outside support and advice to see your boundaries more clearly.
Having permission to actualize your best boundaries for the present time can be so liberating, especially when it comes from someone with a non-biassed view. This has proven to be the most helpful for my clients and has allowed them to make the most “updated” boundary shifts when we work together.
My clients also feel more capable of navigating this tough terrain when being able to share their boundary challenges with others--who don’t judge their circumstance, who don’t find them to be selfish, and who can wholeheartedly relate to their experience.
It offers such a relief!
I have had the same experience myself. While I have long been praised for “good boundaries” from my colleagues and friends, it has been no cake walk. It has taken so much of my energy and often left me breathless when trying to uphold boundaries in my own life (I’ll tell you more about that next week). But, once they’re in place and you understand how to communicate them best, it gets easier and more comfortable over time.
As my boundaries mentor says, “we do this work so that it becomes second nature.”
Yes, you read that right, I do have a boundaries-specific mentor that I have worked with. In fact, I completed a course with her this year. So, not only is this a long standing area of work for me personally, I now feel super-charged to share this even more deeply with you professionally.
As you may have read in my blog from a couple of weeks ago, I received a clear message from my Soul Voice about my latest women’s Group Coaching Circle. I got the message loud and clear that it will now have a focus on boundaries, because of these reasons I’ve mentioned.
By creating this focus on boundaries, I will support you in finding the most sustainable way to use your boundaries so that you feel comfortable and clear about what you need and how to express that to others. And, I will support you in community with other women who “get” this work and want to be doing it alongside you.
Plus, I am fired up about your boundaries not being fully respected and you being drained as a result.
The groundwork for the group is to transform your relationship with boundaries.
You will strengthen your ability to create, clarify, communicate and uphold your boundaries--without guilt or fear.
That means you'll feel more whole, more nourished, and less drained.
Each month during the Circle, we will focus on a particular relationship in your life. This allows you to get personalized support in real time, and makes doing boundary work second nature to you in the future.
Let all of this sink in and let me know if you’d like to talk more about it.
If so, click reply and give me a few times that could work for you to have a 30-minute chat in the next week. Since it will be a very small group, I want to be sure you get your spot.
Until then, notice where you feel drained, where your boundaries aren’t being upheld and where you want to do some work to shift this.
PS. I have reduced the time frame of this group to make it more accessible for summer and, as a result, the cost was adjusted (up to $1200 less than the original group price, depending on payment options).