How many times in your life have you made a plan, just to get knocked off course?
Maybe it was to complete an educational training, to start a house project or to finally change your diet, for good. You had the best of intentions and even got yourself prepared, but something happened in life and your plans had to change. Maybe your child had an injury, your parent got sick or you had something sweep you off your feet... can you think of something like that in your life?
For me, that's what the last few months have been like. I have been needing to focus my energy on one major thing - my health - which meant that my blog updates have had to take a back seat (even though I have thought of sharing and writing every single week).
For that, I have to say I am sorry. But, I also have to say, it's real life.
I am guessing you can relate.
Things like this will always happen in our life and our ability to get through them lie in how we accept them or how we fight them. Acceptance is key.
If I wasn't honest with you and tell you what I've been going through, then it just wouldn't be me. So, here's the story...
As I mentioned in my last blog post, I had a traumatic brain injury in 2006. A couple of years ago, I had some strange symptoms arise that were seemingly aftershocks of this injury. They came on for about 9 months, then went away. In January of this year, those same strange symptoms came back. With no rhyme or reason, not associated with anything in particular. I have been investigating this for the last few months and do have some answers, like what is imbalanced in my brain. But, the correlation with their severity and onset is still unknown.
I have been undergoing intense neurofeedback treatments (to train my brain to work as it is meant to) along with diet experiments, supplement protocols and other treatments deemed beneficial by my doctor. But, some days I feel so depleted that I can barely get out of bed or drive safely. The intensity of the treatments leaves me exhausted, overstimulated and sometimes very emotional and frustrated.
It's been really unpredictable and hard to balance.
I was trying to fight through this and push through my days like all was normal. But it wasn't. Instead, I had to recognize where I needed to shift my schedule and my days so that I could recuperate.
Reluctantly, I made a vow - that I would prioritize and do what I could, then rest when I needed to. So much easier said than done!
I feel so fortunate that I can have a flexible schedule with my work. I feel fortunate that I can ask my husband to get groceries. I feel fortunate that I have a great support team that can tell me to be more compassionate with myself.
Day by day, I am getting more comfortable with how to process my symptoms with acceptance.
When you've been knocked off course, were you able to accept the circumstance, or did you beat yourself up about what you "didn't" do?
Until now, I've fallen into that latter category. And, old habits die hard!! It's certainly not easy because it's not what I want to be happening. But, it's amazing what shifts when you can allow acceptance of what is.
For the record, I must have heard that a gozillion times in yoga over the last decade, but I am just finally getting it.
As I allowed more acceptance of my physical circumstance, I also accepted more support. I am feeling more humbled, more grateful and more hopeful than ever.
So, though my blogs (and some other projects) had to take a break, I have been creating new ways to offer my support to you - to help you accept pieces of life that feel challenging. Some are about food, like not throwing in the towel on your diet because you already feel bad, or not choosing to eat away your emotions when life feels hard. And, some are about forgiving the pieces that we don't really want to accept so we can move on.
Later this month, I'll share more about this and what I've been doing to grow as a coach, even offering new ways we can work together. So, keep your ears perked.
If you know you need some acceptance in your life, but don't know where to start, feel free to reach out for support. Just click here and email me. I will always lend my ear, my instinct and my best knowledge to guide you in the direction you need.