a-ha about perfectionism

One of the things my clients love about the work we do together is working on the nervous system awareness through the body.

Because, that means there's no need to go back in time and dig up old stories or figure out why things are the way they are.

I can figure out your patterns by knowing what's happening now, in present time. 

However, your brain is a brain... so, after we start opening that awareness more will come up for you. 

In normal moments as you go about your day, you will have a-has come through. Memories will surface and dots will be connected. Puzzle pieces will come together for you in your own time 🧩

And, I had something really interesting come through recently while I was washing my hands at the kitchen sink. 

I suddenly had some images surface in my mind and realized, I never really got dirty as a kid. 

When I played outside, I was hopping in the pool, riding my bike, or in the little custom playhouse that my grandfather had made for me.

I was never in the dirt or really doing anything in connection with nature.

Aside from that, my childhood home was always very clean, very mess-free, and I can feel the rigidity my mother and grandmother held around everything "looking perfect."

Even though my grandmother was an avid gardener, she would "wash off" everything with her water hose, spending what felt like hours spraying away any "mess" or dirt from the concrete outside. 

So, it's not surprising that even to this day, I don't "make a mess." 

What is surprising, however, is that I just realized how this plays into one my of biggest dysregulated trauma patterns—perfectionism. 

I realized that on some level I expect things to be "clean, tidy, and mess-free" no matter what they are 😳

What is hilarious, however, is that I decided to made a video about this topic and, right after, I spilled my cup of espresso all over the white cabinets, into drawers, counter, and floor.

The universe was like, “hey there missy, you’re NOT perfect… and its normal and OK to not be perfect”

It felt the like the most timely reminder that I can make a mess, I can be a mess, and I can further unravel my perfection around this.

Because, messes can be cleaned up 🧹

There will be messes in growth, in business, in life.

And I’ve found that having a more flexible nervous system allows me to be much more OK with that than I used to be!